Daydreamin': Who Told You To Be Quiet

 

One of the best roles I had at Amazon was in the Kindle department. I got to read books for an actual living as part of my role in leading the training team that helped authors and fought against fraud. It was here that I had my first boss who challenged me to use my voice instead of silencing it. His name was Mac, and we actually met when I stayed late one night and we used his binoculars to see if Jeff Bezos was in his office in the Day One building next door (don’t judge me).

One day, Mac and I were talking and he asked me a question. We were getting ready for one of the largest mergers of teams in Kindle and I had just talked to him about an idea I had to help drive change management across our teams and motivate adoption when he asked, 

What if somewhere along the way, I don’t like your idea?” 

And almost without hesitation, I responded with, 

“Then I guess I would find out what ideas you did like so I could put those into play.” 

Mac just looked at me and said, 

“Wrong answer. If my idea is different from yours, I need to hear your voice.”

Believe it or not, that was the first time I had heard those words from a senior leader in my entire career. And Mac meant it. The first time he heard me use my voice was not with him. But it was on a call he led where I did not agree with the direction his Chief of Staff was taking on an issue. I remembered arguing with myself for about 5 whole minutes before I said something.

Me: “Girl, you better stay quiet. Mac is on this call and you’re gonna look like a fool.”
Also Me: “No I won’t. I know what I’m talking about. This is not how you lead change.”
Me Again: “But you know you can’t live with the decision he’s making right now. You’re gonna snap halfway through and lose your job.”
Yep, Me: “This is a good government job. They know what they’re doing. They don’t need your voice.”

But they did. And after 5 minutes of a silent argument only I could hear, I heard me saying something before I actually knew it was me.

“I disagree. I don’t think that is going to get us what we need. And I think it’s gonna cost us too much time that we don’t have.”

You could have heard a pin drop at that moment. I think I did honestly. Amazon was a place where you were expected to disagree and commit. So I was asked why I thought that. And I shared why. The COS and I went back and forth for several rounds before Mac finally stepped in. 

“Good discussion. This is what we need to do to get to the right answers. TK, ‘X,’ let’s schedule a call tomorrow to work through this.”

And just like that, I had learned to use my voice.

Daydreamin’ reminds me of how important voice is. In the song, Lupe shares many instances where he had to make a choice. He didn’t need to build capability. He already knew the right answer. He just needed to be courageous enough to use his voice to help drive change. And that’s what the three lessons below are meant to help you do.

1. Recognize That Your Voice Matters

“Now come on everybody, let's make c@*@ine cool.”

Lupe isn't actually advocating for making substance abuse cool. He was using sarcasm to challenge what hip-hop was celebrating and rewarding at the time. Instead of simply accepting the prevailing narrative, he used his voice to question it.

That's what Mac was trying to teach me.

I thought being a good employee meant figuring out what my leader wanted and getting behind it. Mac helped me understand that he didn't need another person in the room agreeing with him. He needed the perspective he hired me to bring.

Your voice doesn't become less valuable because it's different from the loudest or most senior one in the room. Next time you are tempted to think that way…

Try this: The next time you disagree in a meeting, don't ask yourself, “Am I right?” Ask, “What does this room miss if I don't share what I'm seeing?”

That small shift takes the pressure off having the perfect answer and puts the focus where it belongs: contributing your perspective.

2. Use Your Voice When Silence Costs More

“I had to turn my back on what got you paid.”

Lupe is reflecting on the choice to move away from the kind of music that was being rewarded because it didn't represent who he wanted to be as an artist. Sometimes staying true to what you believe means risking the comfort that comes with going along.

I knew staying quiet on that call was safer. I also knew I couldn't live with the decision being made. For five minutes, I debated which risk I was more willing to take.

Eventually, the cost of staying silent became greater than the cost of speaking.

That's often the moment when your voice matters most. The next time you doubt that…

Try this: When you're debating whether to speak up, ask yourself the simplest question of all: “What happens if I say nothing?”

We spend a lot of time calculating the risk of using our voice. Sometimes we need to calculate the risk of silence too.

3. Protect Your Voice Without Making It the Only One

“I couldn’t see, had the hood on me.”

Lupe uses “hood” as wordplay, but underneath it is an idea about what can happen when the environment around you shapes what you're able, or willing, to see.

Finding my voice didn't mean deciding I was always right. Mac never told me my idea was better than the one his Chief of Staff shared. He told me he needed to hear it.

That's an important distinction.

Your voice isn't valuable because it always has the right answer. It's valuable because it adds a perspective the room would not have without you. So next time you’re afraid of being wrong…

Try this: Pay attention to the rooms where you find yourself shrinking, agreeing too quickly, or editing what you really think. Before you leave, contribute one thing you genuinely see differently.

Protecting your voice doesn't mean making it the loudest one in the room. It means making sure it doesn't disappear.

Final Thought

I used to think I needed confidence before I could use my voice but I had it backward. Using my voice is what helped me build the courage to trust it. Mac didn't give me a voice that day. He reminded me that the one I already had was worth hearing. And every time I chose to use it after that, it got a little easier to believe that for myself.

So if you're waiting until you're more senior, more certain, or more confident before you say what you see, stop waiting.

The people listening don't need you to be right every time. They need you to be willing to contribute what only you can see.

Every organization has a Mac moment happening right now. Someone deciding if speaking up is worth the risk. When they decide it isn't, the organization loses both an opinion and the perspective that could have caught a problem early. Building a culture where people use their voice isn't a soft skill. It's a business decision.

TL;DR

If you're trying to find or protect your voice:

• Recognize that your voice matters. A different perspective isn't a less valuable one.
• Use your voice when silence costs more. Don't only calculate the risk of speaking. Calculate the risk of saying nothing.
• Protect your voice without making it the only one. You don't have to be right to contribute something the room needs to hear.

If this week's Leadership Jukebox made you think of someone who needs to hear it, share it with them. Subscribe so you don't miss the next installment.

And if you're interested in helping leaders use their voice when the moment calls for courage, visit the Masterpiece in Progress website to learn more about Moments of Courage.